Coaching: The Most Underused Leadership Skill
In our leadership development programmes, one of our core objectives is to help leaders develop coaching skills.
Gallup states that becoming an effective coach is the single most important skill a manager can develop. Yet almost half of employees say they receive feedback from their manager only a few times a year or less. Coaching isn't just an important leadership skill; it's one of the most underused globally.
My Biggest Leadership Mistake
One of the fundamental coaching skills every leader needs is the ability to ask great questions, however most people tend to index towards telling people what to do more than questioning.
A number of years ago, when I moved into my first Managing Director position, I would often have people coming to ask me questions. As the most senior leader in the business, I felt that I needed to be decisive and give answers. I thought I was being helpful and providing solutions to problems. Over a short space of time I began to enjoy being the go-to person and naively thought I was a "fountain of knowledge".
What I didn't realise at the time was that people were starting to rely on me for answers. They were thinking less and had less confidence and capability in working things out for themselves. It was also creating a lot more work for me, answering questions rather than focusing on higher-value business problems.
The Coaching Shift
It was only when an external coach pointed out that by asking more questions, rather than giving all the answers, I could help grow the capability of my team to take on bigger challenges themselves.
Once I became aware that I was "telling" far more than I was "asking", I started to consciously shift my approach. A useful way to think about this is to ask yourself where you currently sit on the Ask vs Tell Barometer, and where you would ideally like to be.
What Makes a Great Coaching Question?
As I started asking more questions, I soon realised that some were far more effective than others. At the time I hadn't had any formal training, so I learnt through trial and error.
Later, when I trained to become a coach, I learnt that open, curious and non-judgemental questions are the foundation of building the awareness that leads to personal growth.
From a coaching perspective, what, where and how questions are generally more effective than why questions. Asking someone "why" can often come across as accusatory and trigger a defensive response, whereas open questions encourage reflection and create greater self-awareness.
Why Closed Questions Have Their Place
Closed questions are useful for gaining commitment to action, clarifying facts and confirming understanding. However, they reduce the level of thinking required, encourage surface-level answers and can unintentionally lead the person towards a particular response. For that reason, they are best used sparingly within a coaching conversation.
Building Capability Takes Patience
A question-led coaching approach takes patience and practice, but in my opinion it is well worth the effort if you want to build high-performing individuals and teams.
When I first started using this approach, I made the mistake of not telling my team what I was doing. Unsurprisingly, it caused a fair bit of frustration when I started responding to their questions with questions of my own. Looking back, simply explaining the coaching approach and why I was using it would have made the transition much easier for everyone.
It's Not Always About Coaching
A coaching approach isn't right for every situation. When there is a business-critical problem that requires your expertise quickly, a decisive, directive approach is often the better option.
Great leaders know when to coach and when to lead from the front. The real skill is being able to adapt your style to the situation.
If you'd like to explore questioning techniques, or any other coaching skills for leaders, feel free to get in touch.
James Milner
James@exalto-consulting.com